It can be fun, exciting and stimulating to have sex, but there may be times when it feels impossible to achieve this. Most people call this time “boring.” According to statistics,41% of men and 27% of women are sexually dissatisfied in their relationships.
There are a lot of reasons for boring sex. Some of them are medical conditions, inadequate time, commitment issues, and a whole lot. We will look at some of these issues and how you can find sexual satisfaction with your partner again. However, visit a https://www.stdcheck.london/ or GUM Clinic in London and consult with a doctor to manage sexual dissatisfaction.
What does it mean to have boring sex?
The definition of boring sex differs from person to person. Humans have different tastes, and one person’s fancy can be another person’s problem. However, there are tons of similar issues that most people who experience sexual dissatisfaction have.
Meeting up with the daily demands of life can cause you to spend lesser time with your family and in the bedroom. And sometimes, routine sex may feel more like a chore than an act of love. Having the same kind and style of sex for many years is also a significant cause of boring sex.
If you can no longer find that thing that makes you tingle with your partner, know that you are not alone. A lot of people experience a break in exciting sex at the end of their honeymoon. However, there is hope for identifying and fixing the problem.
Causes of boring sex
Discovering the cause of your lack of fun in the inner room can be a daunting task. However, there are many possible causes.
Some of them are related to underlying medical conditions. For example, people with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can experience a lot of sexual dysfunction. People with ADHD become hypersexual and pay more attention to pornography instead of their physical partner. The condition can also lead to hyposexuality which may cause friction between partners who now have varying libido.
Some women can link their sexual dissatisfaction to pain during sex. People with this experience may shy away from sex due to the pain during penetration.
Some men also experience pain during sex which may also cause them to avoid it. Having a partner that is unwilling to have sex with you can be a killer to your sex drive and leave you feeling unwanted or undesired.
Depression, anxiety and other mental conditions can cause boredom in the inner room. A study unveiled that intensive symptoms of depression increase the risk of sexual dissatisfaction and discontentment in a relationship. Another study also showed that people with sleeping disorders like insomnia also suffer in sexual functioning.
Discussing your feelings with your partner
The first thing to do when your sex life has become boring is to discuss it with your partner openly. Remember, adequate communication is very vital for having better sex.
How you approach the conversation is very crucial. Mishandling it can cause your partner to shield in and feel incapable; so, you need to approach it from a non-judgemental angle. If the changes you notice are caused by a medical issue, showing your support can make a difference to your partner.
Try the following tips if you want to talk about the boredom without being judgemental:
· I miss that spark between us, and I’m willing to get it back. Do you think we can try out new ideas in the bedroom?
· I feel like we are not spending as much intimate time as we should together. Do you think we can discuss it?
· I see things are not going so well between you and me in the bedroom lately. Is all well?
Tell your partner if the change in your sexual life hurts you. That could touch and encourage your partner to change for the better.
Helpful tips for spicing up your sex life
There are a lot of things that can bring back the lost spark to your relationship. So there is no way to look outside and try to break a relationship with great potentials because of sexual dissatisfaction. We believe the following tips will help.
· Treat any underlying medical issue
Leaving any underlying medical issue unaddressed will make your effort with the other tips futile. You and your partner can try cognitive behavioural therapy as studies have found them to be very useful. It can improve sexual functioning and the symptoms of anxiety and depression in people with vaginismus.
· Talk about sex
For some people, the only barrier to having a great sex life with their partner is communication. Discussing and compromising on your differences in passions, likes, and dislikes can go a long way.
Also, settle issues in your relationship if you have any. We have seen many cases of boring sex after a case of infidelity. Discuss it with your partner and be ready to sort things out.
· Create time for passionate sex
You will always have a list of things to do after exhausting the former list. You two must make out quality time for sex. Rushing in the bedroom can make sex feel like one of your‘must-do’ chores. Discuss with your partner and set aside enough time to go through the procedures of having sex. Starting with foreplay can help ignite the desire if you do not feel like it.
· Role-playing can help
According to studies, only about 22% of people have tried role-playing. Doing this can help you two create enticing sex roles in a secure environment. We advise this if you and your partner are open to it. It can aid communication and relieve the boredom.
· Experiment with sex toys
Sex toys can be very stimulating and can help you achieve a better sex life. There are many types of toys on the market. Try the ones you are comfortable with and do not try to stretch your limits.
· Explore your kinks
At first, kinky sex felt like a taboo, but not anymore. However, it should only be done with the consent of your partner. Ensure you discuss your boundaries with your partner and stick to them.
· Talk to a professional on mental health
Talking to a sex therapist can help you resolve any issues you may have with sex and revive the lost passion. A session can help you boost your emotional intelligence and improve your satisfaction.